the dsun has got his hat on

but he can fuck right off cos I hate being hot.thank god for cold bottles of lager and large glasses of g&t and thank god for the first time in two years I have fridge in the summer and the milk doesn't go off in half an hour.Sam and Tom went to their dads for the first time in 7 weeks this week as it's half term and I was looking forward to some time where I didn't have to cook and once id cleaned it was done. then jack decided to come home so that went out the window.I hate cooking its not that I cant do it mostly its just thinking what to cook that I can afford and I particularly hate it in summer as the stuff that I like cooking is too wintery and summer food is shit.
My beloved son bought me a new phone yesterday , ive never had an expensive Mobile before so its quite exciting its only a blackberry pearl but I am proud to say i set it up myself with no help from anyone under the age of 20 and only had to google 378 times and watch 93 tutorial videos on youtube before I sent my first message, who knows tomorrow I may even find the camera on it.It came with a years free internet and web browsing so now when im on the bus the hours will fly by as if Ive never left home.Speaking of the bus guess where i went today? yes Middlesbrough and guess what it was all going swimmingly I trawled the shops looking for something summery that cost under a fiver and found nothing but I was having fun i'm one of those people who likes shopping even if I buy nowt.Anyway I got on the bus and the top deck was empty apart from me a soldier and two people sitting right at the front in the scary, a trees going to hit you seats.The we got to Stockton high street where a drunken ugly person who smelled like baldrick looks got on the bus. he sat in front of me and then after two minutes started trying to talk to me , i did the only sensible thing and turned my ipod louder and started to play with my phone.However he was persistant and must have said soemthing rude cos a soldier who was sat three seats behind me suddenly started shouting at him and they had a slanging match over the top of my head while I studiously looked at my phone and turned my ipod up a little louder.when the drunk got off at Greggs on the durham road the whole top deck just burst out laughing and started breathing through their noses again. and that gentle reader was my day

Paolo Nutini - Candy ( Official Video )

I have been

trying to post paolo nutinis new single cos I like it but it wont appear must be blocked anyway thats by the by.I was looking at urban dictionary and the word today was missing link and the definition was man so hairy that he cant take his top off because people think he's the missing link. Am I alone in liking hairy men and thinking unhairy ones are slightly effeminate and ewwwwww. i like men who look like men I don't like men who want to feel my pain i want men who track down the source of it and beat it to death with a club or their bare fists. I like men with tattoos and faces that look as though they have been in a boxing ring. When did the definition of an attractive man become the real life version of japanese Animi and why?

things I hate

1 going to the bathroom knowing that one of the kids wont have flushed and there will be piss all over the seat

2.the downstairs loo door is never fucking shut

3. No one can listen to anything in this house at normal volume it always has to be loud and people shout to be heard over it

4. People shout as if the Tv/stereo/radio is on even when it's not because they are so used to doing it

5. My kids are incapable of being in the house together for more than half an hour without world war 3 breaking out

6 the neighbourhood kids cant just knock on the door and wait they knock non stop thus making the dog bark and driving me nuts

7the walls are always filthy cos they think washing hands is an optional extra

8. every pair of boxer shorts i washed today was ripped because they think wedgies are hilarious


9I cant go on I am going to run away from home instead

Today I went to middlesbrough

and absolutely nothing untoward happened at all

I dont know why i try to leave home

I went to Middlesbrough today ,just to get out the house before I went mad.I decided to venture to Boro despite nearly getting arrested last time i went.I wandered round the shops just looking cos i have no money and ended up in BHS I dont know why cos I hate BHS and have no interest in anything they sell,so remembering this i left ,as i wandered down the high street I heard cries of STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP and Excuse me and OY YOU so obviously I turned round to see who all the fuss was about and who was being naughty.At this point the store detective walked up to me and removed the Bra that had attached itself to my coat and was dangling suggestively at knee level ( a coincidence since that's where my tits tend to be these days too)smiling sweetly she said im sure you didn;t mean to do this did youmost people are more subtle, grinned and walked back .At this point i decided it was probably best to go home and not leave for another fortnight

I just

went to an allstars v darlington football match but I have no idea who was playing cos i didn't take my glasses but Im damned sure the 6 foot something bald god of love wearing the peter beardsley shirt wasn't peter beardsley.Paul gascgoine is looking very very fit and healthy which was nice to see though.Alan Milburn who is our local MP kicked off and got a bigger Boo than the ref which was also nice to see :D