I Am

Currently reading a really good book called What Rhymes with bastard ? by Linda Robertson I got it at one of those discount bookshops in Boro last weekend for £2 so if you look it up on amazon and it appeals i suggest you leg it down to bookworld and get it at half the price.Anyone who can write a song about anal sex and accompany herself on the arccordian is ok my me click here for a listen its the first song No Butts. I ordered some boxes from ebay to pack my house into y. They arrived and seem to have come from a sex shop as one contained at one time 10 pairs of size 12 thigh length PVC boots in black I may send it to aaron to sniff when i have finished with it. Continuing the good news the campaign to get the sentence of that bloke looked at has taken a step forward , the Attorney general has said he will be reviewing it. Its nice to see people power can work for the good as well as evil.Its fucking cold and wet ,Mavis has grown and extra thick coat I think we are in for a rough winter , at least i will be in a town if we get a lot of snow.Sting was on the local news today prentending he;s still a geordie , he sounded like a welshman doing a geordie accent he learned from a pakistani over a tannoy in a very noisy station at rush hour , I fucking hate sting

yesterday

I went to look at wardrobes in Ikea with Ronald, its was a close run thing but I did manage to stop him buying the lemon velour lounging suit, just because he now looks like a shadow of his former self doesn't mean he can go in for bad taste cross dressing. I have such great friends I am moving on the 7th and my friends Diane and steve have already hired a van organised what is happening and told me.They have also hired a carpet cleaner to coincide with the weekend i move out and suggested that I borrow it after them as it will " only be sitting in our house doing nothing once we've finished our carpets and we have it for the whole weekend" The lovely Ronald has also offered his services but I declined them , he's coming down to help me move though which is nice.
newcatle won last night which rather ruined my piss taking of ron but you cant have everything. I am hoping to get my new BB account set up before I move properly so I wont be without it for long.Anyway I'd like to thank all the people who have kept me going over the last couple of months when i was quite literally not waving but drowning, they know who they are are and I hope that I will be as good a mate to them as they have been to me over the past nightmare couple of months, should they ever need it

update

Ipick up the keys to my new house next monday and move in on the saturday following . Its not where I have been living for the last ten years but in a local town and the kids will have to catch two buses to school but its a roof over our heads and for that i am truly grateful.My eldest son passed all his exams and applied to join the RAF he was accepted last week and will start basic training on January the 7th just after his 18th birthday.I am very proud of him he could have so easily given up but he has achieved a lot on the last year and now has a future.My youngets brother rang me up on saturday to say that owning to the fact I am a dirty northern bastard and he cant be bothered to drive up here to give me his old tv. hes bought me a brand new one which was gobsmackingly fantastic of him given the last couple of months i have had . I have volunteered to go and serve dinners with the sally army this christmas since it could so easily have been been me needing one.

Cast - Walk Away

Life is so totally crap at the moment I dont feel like blogging If it picks up no doubt I will be back if not it will be AOL bucket of water syndrom anyway

I am not divorced

because the solicitor who I went to see yesterday and the times were confused had forgotten to send the form for john to sign saying that if I won the lottery he would have no claim on it so I walked 4 miles in the pissing rain for nothing.

I have somewhere to live

But the cost has been far too high for me to be happy about

The League of Gentlemen...Job Centre

this is for Aaron

continuing my fucked up life

I went to get divorced today and had the wrong time so I wont be getting divorced til tomorrow now .well signing the absolute papers anyway ( I think that they are the ones you need vodka for)

Tim Minchin - The Guilt Song (Fuck the Poor)

I love this

Kirsty MacColl - Walking Down Madison [stereo]

This is the radio2 record of the week and I quite like it. This morning has been amusing every morning I meet my friend Diane and we walk the dogs together, My next door neighbour has a collie who always tries to attack Basil as soon as he sees him and the bloke looks at me as if it's all my fault and I have no right to pollute the street upon which his dog walks. I thought it was just me that felt like this but it turns out its nearly the entire estate, but thats by the by. Anyone who knows me in real life knows I am totally non confrontational and will literally walk miles to avoid an argument unless its with someone I know very well.Anyway The collie mafia were out on strength this morning so after going round the field I raced back home hoping to get into the street and house before the geordie bloke with the collies started his morning chat with beryl next door but one. I left Diane and ben at the end of the road and was in the house and safe. Diane continued round to her house and I put the kettle on ( 64p that costs apparently) found I had no coffee and went off to lidls to get some on the way there I passed the collie mafia only to hear him complaining about how his dog had been attacked by an out of control GSD . went home to a call from diane saying ben had run accrooss the road to say Hi to the collie and the bloke had reacted like it was a full on attck so she had a slanging match with him. so now I cant leave the house at all without checking who is where

keep your fingers

Things are looking up :)

Its not about money

Just to clarify things for someone who cant seem to get their head round it , My housing problem isn't about money or income its about lack of housing for someone in my situation. I was given 2 months to find a new place for us to live . I started looking, contacting the rental agencies and the council and found that the council have no housing available because they have only got 14% of the housing needed for the area , there are 550,000 people registered for housing in north yorkshire and last year my local council managed to house 10 families in my area but thats by the by. I can afford to pay rent I am happy to pay rent I am not whinging about money at all, I am whinging because no one is happy to let a house to a single parent, they have a little sign that goes up in their head single parent= trouble = drugs and fights and jeremy kyle.I also have a county court judgement against me as the house was repossessed and I am down as owing £19k which is the shortfal in the sale of the house, we wont even go into how we had a buyer but there was a £5k shortfall and the mortgage company refused to allow us to sell.John hasn't been to court over it yet for some reason they decided to come after me rather than him,.All this makes me too risky for the private renatl sector even though I have been paying rent every month for the last 18. Thats basically why I am whinging and I am not asking for pity or anything I am merely getting it off my chest . And Blu , I am on the game that wasn't a joke.

making stuff up for Jessica

Of late I have been waking up a lot during the night and having bizarre dreams . The first one was a few weeks ago ,I was shagging a bloke in a room in a hotel the room was like an office with glass windows adn on the other side of the glass were OAP's all eating cream teas. The bloke was late for work and left but he left behind paperwork I was about to take it to him when the hotel manager came in and told me that people had complained that the floor show wasn't good enough and demanded that I meet him in the Eyre room to explain myself. I tried for ages to find the room but couldn't and eventually I realised I would be late to pick my kids up from school so I ran out the hotel and found myself trying to get to darlo station half way there I found myself in wheel chair and out of control careering down a ramp and straight onto the train which is odd cos there are no trains to where I live) I woke up at this point and thought well that was odd.
The about a week ago I dreamed that there was a massive blue and white striped Lizard on my wall and that if I moved my feet it would start eating my toes , I woke up and lay in bed for ages scared to move until i realised it had been a dream
Then this morning I had the worst oen yet . someohow I was in a really nice hotel room giving les Battersby a blow job when he morphed into janice and I was trying to say but Im not a lezzer and janice was saying its ok Ive got a cock so you cant be , fortunately I woke up at that point.

Good Old British Justice

remember my mates mate who died when he didn't give some bloke a cigarette and the bloke punched him ? Well the killer was sentenced today he got 18 months , the Recorder , said the prison sentence was lower than some might expect because Wyatt did not intend to kill or cause serious injury. makes you proud doesn't it