Saturday, 19 January 2008

goodbye vera

Today I am feeling particularly Gifted
Last night saw th sad demise of Mrs Vera Duckworth , I wanted to be really sad but Jacks acting was so apallingly bad that I just drank a bottle of wine in 45 minutes emailed someone to tell them they were a complete cunt and passed out watching dorothy L sayers in bed before the little hand hit ten and the big hand hit 12.
For those of you who have children who are little bastards and dunk their phones in coke hoping to get a new one I have a tip . Run the phone under cold water for 45 minutes and leave it to dry on the radiator it will work perfectly and the said child will be heartbroken a double victory I think we can all agree.
I am seriously thinking of going back to my Maiden name when I get divorced I already have a different name from one of my kids anyway and I hate my last name it just reminds me of johns insane family and while my family is equally insane they are insane in my way.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

What was dorothy l sayers doing in bed???

Anonymous said...

being wimseycal ;)

Anonymous said...

If you revert to your maiden name, be prepared to be called by the surname, especially by teachers, of whichever child is in trouble at the moment. I went back to a former name when I divorced the bastard that came after Heather's father-fortunately, it was her last name too so no worries there. However, after Dennis, I was called Mrs. X (Heather's name) whenever I had occasion to talk to anyone who didn't know me, but did know Heather. Does ANY of that make any sense? That being said, do whatever makes YOU feel better (and I understand completely about your own insane family since I came from one too.)

Anonymous said...

Depends what your maiden name was. If it is Bucket or Ramsbottom, then I'd stick to Hague.

I am always dropping my phone in water then having to dry it out. I find it takes about 48 hours to recover totally.

Anonymous said...

if you drop your phone in something sugary you have to rinse it rally well or the sugar upsets the insides My maiden name is Wikeley

Anonymous said...

Ha! I've got you beat - or rather my step-father does. When we were still in New Jersey all the neighborhood kids called him Mr Insertmyandolderbrother'slastnamehere.

Thankfully, Spawn and I have the same last name. Mum - I don't know why but when I bought my new squishy recliner today, I thought of you and thought that somehow you would be able to appreciate the small luxury that's a nice squishy chair.

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone in my house has the same surname, i answer to mrs R (oldest 3 kids surname) mrs B (youngest child) and mrs W (grandson) none of which are my actual surname :-)

Anonymous said...

Salt water is very bad for phones, too. You can take the battery out and dry it in the oven, also, at a low temp.
-P

Anonymous said...

You hate your first name too. Why not go the whole hog and pick out something that you really like and change it officially (like Ange did once. She went for something posh but I forget what it was)?

Anonymous said...

D'you mean to say that Mavis Sidebottom isn't your real name?
Tsk...... can't believe anyone these days!

Anonymous said...

angela mansfeild wright was what ange changed to.Id be happy just going back to being me

Anonymous said...

What sort of name is Wikeley? I've never heard it.

Anonymous said...

Its a rare and uncommon one

Anonymous said...

how does one pronounce wikeley?

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing like "Wiggley" but with a K.

Anonymous said...

Like likely but with a W,Its an old Norse derived name wyke being a dwelling ley being a field yes its an outside toilet.And is a proper Yorkshire sirname apparently

Anonymous said...

Jane make them stop taking the piss out of our heritage

Anonymous said...

I am just glad I don't have to spell it everytime someone asks for the name. Have you thought about that?

schell said...

My phone survivied after being dropped in a toilet. The 9 button sticks a little, but eventually it works.

Anonymous said...

theres are 4 different spellings of hague and when my name was sard pete always insited on spelling in sade and its not hard to say double you eye kay eee ell ee why

Anonymous said...

How about finding a name that you AND your sons like and all change to that ?

Anonymous said...

because my sons still like their father and I liked my maiden name

Anonymous said...

Its so simple being a Smith

Anonymous said...

i ruined a phone via dropping it in mashed potatoes and one went through the washing machine. i had to get a new phone both times, but it was the same phone and free through my warranty plan with the phone company. i haven't had a new phone isnce then, maybe 4 years now. i need a new phone becaue the battery is going bad and the battery costs more than a new phone, so if i get around to it, i'll get one, if not, it'll last. as to names, i saw pick a whole new last name that you really like not related to anyone i'm really realted to. if i were to do it, that's what i'd do.

jilly

Anonymous said...

I dont identify with a competely new name though I identify with my maiden name

Anonymous said...

alexy wikeley not very likely to ride on a bikely and become a dykely. Yes I like it you may go ahead and re-introduce your maiden name.

Anonymous said...

Fair enough, Alex. I think I'd sit down with the boys and discuss it with them. Sometimes, kids can be amazingly down to earth and sensible. (Not VERY often, mind you.)

Anonymous said...

have you tried ebay for a battery jilly? they are quite cheap on there :-)

Anonymous said...

I once dropped a phone in a tin of paint id forgotten to close the button on me shirt pocket a quick fish out haul apart and clean and it worked again albeit it was technicoloured or discoloured depending who you talked to
Tiddler Riddler