Wednesday, 21 January 2009

hell in a handbasket

Well canny little Bertrand unemployment is  running at nearly 2 million and expected to peak  at 3 million. the weather is shit , the PM sold out gold reserves when gold was at an all time low,  but worse  much much worse than this last night my Microwave started to smoke and is now out in the garden deader than a very dead thing in a dead thing  in a dead thing competition at the local taxidermists so no more meals that go Ping for me. I put the microwave out in the garden because obviously under the socialist republic of mediocre britian it's not allowed to smoke indoors .That bloke who killed the friend of a friend of mine got his sentence doubled to three years which  to me seems like nothing  but at least he wont be out of prison in t 8 weeks which was looking likely before the court of appeal resentenced him.
My neighbours have 4 dogs including one husky puppy  they leave them in a run and kennel in the garden from 7.15 am to 6 pm every working day the husky puppy howls from 7.15 am to 6 pm everyday . dog lover that i am , I am getting very close to slapping it round the head with a large peice of 2 e 4.I am thinking of getting my eyebrows twinned with dennis healy   I am suspecting irish wolfhound in my pedigreree judging by the amount of facial hair I sprout these days. 
and that ladies gentlemen and TROLL is todays news

10 comments:

Gail said...

Our microwave went out two days after Christmas and we just got it replaced YESTERDAY. Dennis and I aren't the greatest shoppers and neither one of us wanted to go pick out another one but finally got ourselves together last Tuesday and picked one out to be installed on Friday. The installer came on Thursday and discovered that the one we picked wouldn't fit in the space where our old one was and that's the ONLY place in the kitchen where it would go so back to the store I go to pick out another one-picked out a more expensive one (that'll teach Dennis to stay home and let me loose with the credit card) and we finally got it in yesterday about 1 o'clock. Oh and I got a new toaster oven to match the new microwave whilst I was at it :) The new one has more buttons than the space shuttle and we have managed to successfully warm up Den's coffee. Our old one was 25 years old with limited options and I'm not real sure we're ready for the space agey thing we have now, but it'll be fun trying to warm up something-if we don't blow something up in the process.

Anonymous said...

moan moan moan, don't they sell microwaves at Ikea?

Anonymous said...

I dont know perhaps you could and check for me theres one in warrington isn;t there?

Jilly said...

my microwave and fridge are older than i am. i have decided to let them die before we replace them because i'm cheap. i've already picked out the new machines for when these finally die off like the dinos they are.

can you call someone and complain about the noise and or treatment of the dogs?

where i live you're not allowed to have more than 3 dogs, and if they're big dogs, no more than 2. there are also rules about type of dogs. no pitt bulls are allowed in my neck-of-the-woods. since i live 3 blocks from open gang warfare, pitt bulls are a sure sign of trouble.

they don't just pick on dog lovers though. there are rules about numbers of cats, farm animals and other types of pets like rodents and exotic pets too. They only enforce the rules if someone calls and complains.

jilly

Anonymous said...

Ive never understood fancy microwaves. You want lots of power to nuke your food quickly with minimal fuss. I think people are impressed by lots of buttons and deep down are too ashamed to admit they only use about 10% of them adding unneccesary costs to themselves. Oh and hear the troll look replaced the hourglass this year.

mrs robinson said...

my pc died, only not as spectacularly as your microwave, so i've allowed it to stay indoors until it gets a hard drive transplant. Our local council look very unkindly on people leaving dogs outside to bark and howl all day...they do sod all about it except look tho.

Bert Bananas said...

Thank you very much for your input. I'm sure I'll be getting a good grade now.

If England does go belly up, would you please save me a souvenir?

Gail said...

ALL the microwaves we looked at had many more buttons that our elderly one...I had no choice.

Ded said...

I'm still drinking Mombai and tonics.

Anonymous said...

Did you just call me a troll? Just put a sleeping pill in some dog food and pass it through the fence.